


Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing

by lolahardy



Series: Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing [1]
Category: Mysterious Skin (2005), Warrior (2011)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-23
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-22 02:05:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/604621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolahardy/pseuds/lolahardy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After getting his life together, Tommy gets back into fighting. After a match, he meets Neil who's nothing but trouble...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The fire that burned through his arm is making him see stars.

He made a big show of working through it, of wanting to continue the fight, even after Brendan walked him through to the locker room again, past the roar of the crowds. It was only when he was seated that his vision started to go black, the pain that was evident was now fully making itself known and it tore through him. 

Tore.

Fire.

Agony.

Just some of the words that ran through his mind as he felt faint. 

Things went fuzzy after that but he knew his shoulder was repaired, he would face court marshaling for going AWOL and his fighting career...if there was one...was surely put on the back burner. Whether or not it would ever get off was another story entirely.

====

Before he knew it, he blinked and he had spent weeks at Brendan's house with his wife and two lovely girls that squealed in delight at the thought of their Uncle Tommy. Though his wife...her name eluded him...was frightened of him at first, it wasn't long before she was just as welcoming as her girls. And those girls with their gold hair and gap tooth smiles loved climbing on their Uncle Tommy, marveling at his size and making comments that all children make, inappropriate yet hilarious. Tommy couldn't remember such...ease.

Things with pop had gone on well enough. He swore he heard him now and then, talking to Brendan at night when the girls were in bed. He thought they talked but his mind blanked and made gaps in his memory and he wasn't sure if he dreamt them or it really happened. 

After what felt like months...maybe a lifetime, Tommy's shoulder was better though stiff and it cracked something awful when he moved it overhead. He decided to go.

"No one is kicking you out you know."

Brendan watched him pack from the doorway of the guest room that Tommy had occupied. 

"Tess likes you being here. Says it makes the house feel safe."

He chuckled as Tommy cocked a half smile but kept packing.

"The girls will miss you."

"I'll visit."

Brendan sighed, seeing nothing was deterring him.

"Where you gonna go?"

"Back to Pittsburgh. Maybe stop in on pop...it's been a while."

"He was just here a few weeks ago."

"I can't remember."

"You were sleeping."

Tommy nodded and finished packing, putting the last of his belongings in his duffel as he slung it over his shoulders and turned to look at his brother. All the bad blood that had been there was washed away. Brendan was his brother, his loving, wonderful brother that took him in and helped him through all his bullshit, that welcomed him into his home and shared his idyllic life with him and gave him the feeling of belonging.

"Brendan...I want to thank you...for everything."

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

They embraced and for a while, Tommy could feel the relief coming from his brother and Brendan held on.

"Don't go man. It hasn't been enough time...no one wants to see you go."

Tommy sighed and felt tempted. He hadn't really formed a plan of any kind other then he should go before wearing out his welcome.

"I'll visit. A lot. Especially now that I know I'm welcome."

Brendan laughed and they held on for a moment longer as he walked him to the door. Tess was at work, the girls at school so as he stepped out into the warm, bright day, he turned to look at his brother.

"Tell Tess and the girls thank you...and I'll call you when I get back to Pittsburgh."

Brendan nodded as Tommy then turned and left.

======

Pittsburgh was just as he remembered it and when he got to his father's house, he was relieved the old man was all right and not at all surprised at his appearance at his door.

"Brendan told me you left this morning."

"I didn't want to just barge in..."

"It's fine."

He stepped aside and let him inside. 

They spoke for a bit and Tommy called Brendan as he promised. He could hear the girls excited shrieks behind him, wanting to talk to their uncle, he could even hear Tess asking if he was all right. Tommy couldn't help but laugh a little and feel...some sort of relief that they really did miss him. He then settled downstairs with pop and had a cup of coffee with him. While they didn't talk, just sharing the same space without feeling like he was going to tear off his skin was such a great pressure off him. Soon, they both went to bed and Tommy settled in his old room, falling asleep quicker then he thought he would.

He didn't just live in his father's house. In between going for long runs, avoiding gyms because of his past "sorta fame", he looked for a job, something to do, to pull his weight and to possibly find his own place to live. 

It was harder then he thought it would be and took a long time. It was the following winter when he finally had his life in a reasonable order, his own place, a job doing construction and weekly phone calls from Brendan and Tess, coffee with pop every other night. For the first time in a really long time, he felt settled.

After a year, he thought of getting back in the ring. His shoulder wasn't as torn up as he thought it would be, the ache was dull and only announced when he overworked it. When he told his father one night, while they had their usual cup, he looked at him for a long time.

"You really want to do all that again?"

"It's not like the last time. Pillar remarried. It's not about money anymore...or rather it is...but it's something I want to do for myself."

"You haven't trained in almost two years."

"It's like riding a bike."

"I don't know Tommy..."

"Brendan isn't doing it."

He saw a slight smile on his father's face as he shook his head.

"You want my help?"

"You're the best still."

"So are you."

Tommy wasn't so sure anymore.

=======

It wasn't like riding a bike. It was torture and painful and working out before work, on every day off and still doing his manually taxing job in between all that. The moment he set foot back in a gym, he was instantly recognized and the rumor milled churned and buzzed and excitement circled around him, something he hated before but was now more confused with. Why would anyone care about a washed up fighter anymore? But then he imagined it was for the novelty, the idea he would come back after a nearly two year hiatus in his loosing fight between he and his brother. He still thought it ridiculous and ignored everyone who tried talking to him about it when he worked out. 

It didn't take long for Brendan to find out.

"So...word has it you're getting back in the ring?"

Tommy sighed, resting his chin on his hand as he held the phone with the other. He was exhausted from work and didn't want to be lectured. Before the pain became too pronounced, he stood from the kitchen table and went to the freezer, taking out an ice pack, immediately placing it on his shoulder.

"Who told you?"

"Read it online."

"Geez..."

"I think you'll do great."

Tommy was surprised, sitting up straight as he held the phone firmly.

"What?"

"I said I think you'll do great. Too much was going on before...this is different."

"That's what I told pop."

"Take it easy though...and if you are getting back in the ring, tell me, Tess and I would love to go cheer you on."

"I figured Tess would be tired of all this shit."

"Only if I'm doing it. I'm sure she wouldn't mind seeing her brother-in-law knock the fuck out of some guy."

Tommy laughed.

======

The buzz swelled and grew and sped off without Tommy realizing it. 

By the time he was ready for his first fight, there was such a commotion about it and he still couldn't understand why anyone really gave a fuck. He didn't pay attention to the title or the pomp and circumstance, just on his opponent, to his training and how he felt the night of the fight. He breathed deeply, Paddy talking to Brendan as they stood with him in the back room. His hands were already bandaged, gloved, his mouth piece in his hands, his solid black hooded sweatshirt on and covering his head as he stared into space. 

"Hey, Tommy, good luck ok? Tess and I will be in the front row."

He snapped out of his daze and looked up at his brother as he nodded. Brendan then said bye to his dad as he left and Paddy walked with his son. 

The entrance was loud despite his lack of music, just the overwhelming deafness of the crowd, the lights, all things Tommy tuned out as he approached the ring. He pulled off his sweatshirt, giving it to his father as he was checked by the ref and let into the ring. It was a blur of fists, adrenaline, anger that he kept in check now spilling into his fists and feet. Two rounds later, the man was down and the crowd was on its feet and instead of fleeing, Tommy stood in the ring, dazed and not answering when there was a mic shoved in his face, cameras flashing and he couldn't hear anything. All he did was narrow his eyes, trying to look through the faces and lights until Paddy came into view. His father answered for him, shoving the mics and camera away when he was done, leading Tommy out as the crowd continued to roar.

His ears rung from the commotion and he was hot and sweaty but God, did it feel good to have fought, to have won. 

It was all a rise from there.

There was promotion, talk of more fights, agents that Paddy wouldn't let near his son, photographers and reporters. It happened again and again and with every fight won, it felt like he was climbing towards something...something he wasn't even aware of.

=====

It happened the night of his big fight, the one that would move him into the championship title fight and if he won that, he would be an undisputed champ. He already lined up a score of enemies, each defeated opponent became someone else that rooted for his failure. Tess and Brendan came to nearly every fight, cheering and screaming and Tommy could always find them through the chaos because of Tess' hair. It always reminded him of the girls. Pop took care of everything and continued training him and it was good for both of them to keep a clear mind and have something to focus on. When they traveled, they still had their cup of coffee before turning in to their own hotel rooms and sometimes Tommy slept, some times he laid there in the dark pretending to sleep and sometimes he didn't sleep at all. The night before the big fight right across the street from Madison Square Garden, Tommy stayed up, reading the program for the match tomorrow, seeing a blank page with just the briefest of bios under his name, his opponent, Frank St. John on the opposite page, his bio, his list of wins, losses and ties under the paragraph. Tommy must have read it a hundred times over before closing the pages, ignoring the ads for obnoxious "Tap Out" gear on the back, the ring girls on the front. It was late but he was bored so he got dressed and went out. 

He only walked a block before getting to the corner coffee shop and buying another cup of coffee, black. Excess sugar and fat from the cream wouldn't be good for his training. He sat at the counter, sipping it, glad his mind was focused on the bitter taste coating his tongue rather then how tired he felt but couldn't sleep. He didn't even notice when someone stood beside him and ordered their own coffee. Not until he heard a voice, saying,

"Excuse me."

Tommy turned and looked at the kid, he had to be a kid, buying coffee at two in the morning. He looked like he was on his way home after a long night of partying wearing his best grown up clothes of a black tight button down shirt, the sleeves rolled up and hip hugging slender jeans. He had an old looking hairstyle but somehow, he carried it well. As Tommy leaned back to allow access to the napkin dispenser, he saw the kid reaching over, all long limbs and length. When the kid moved back, their eyes met and he smirked at him, eyeing Tommy's size and the fact that he was alone. The kid then turned back to his coffee, cleaning off the lid with the retrieved napkins before throwing them away as he turned back to Tommy.

"Mind if I sit here?"

Tommy shrugged and paid attention to his coffee again, taking slow sips to not burn himself.

"You look familiar."

He shrugged and didn't look at the kid again. He suddenly felt as if he was doing something wrong by talking to him and he thought of taking his coffee back to his room a block away. The kid didn't say anything else, he just took glances of Tommy, sitting beside him in sweatpants and a snug white cotton tee. His size made it look painted on. It was then he connected two and two together as he said,

"Oh...yeah. You're one of those...UFC guys."

"MMA."

"Whatever. Shouldn't you be lifting cinder blocks in a gym right now or something?"

"Shouldn't you be in bed getting ready for school tomorrow?"

The kid gave him a look as he scoffed.

"I'm not nearly as young as you're thinking. Flattering though."

Tommy returned to his coffee as the kid turned towards him now, settling in to talk to him. It made Tommy worry, since his social skills were limited to say the least.

"You live around here? I ask not to make small talk, but to see if you wanted to get out of here."

"I don't have any money."

"Charming. Have you never just been hit on?"

"I don't live around here."

"Shame, my apartment is further up."

In his head, it jolted Tommy, to hear such a brazen implication towards him. Not that he had been sheltered or innocent himself, but most comments where never directed towards him. He looked at the kid, this lovely, lengthy creature propositioning him. The kid could see Tommy nearly going for the bait, he just needed a bit more encouragement.

"I'm Neil."

"Tommy."

He changed tactics and dared to step a little closer, their arms brushing against each other as Neil drank from his cup and waiting for his response.

"My hotel is just up the block."

"That's a nice hotel."

Tommy stood up and took a final sip of his coffee before throwing it out, leaving the shop and hearing Neil right behind him.

He wasn't sure what he was doing, picking up some kid at a coffee place in the middle of the night and now bringing him back to his hotel room. He didn't worry about defending himself and mentally shook his head at the very idea that this scrawny kid was out to rob him. It wasn't his house, not even his city so inviting him back to his hotel room was not so personal. Neil looked around his room but didn't touch anything that was actually Tommy's. He touched the dresser and the TV and the foot of the bed as he walked by it, taking a quick glance into the bathroom before sitting on the edge of the bed.

"So...nice place you got here."

Tommy wasn't sure what to say.

"Not much of a talker are you?"

"Not really."

"Are you lonely?"

It wasn't the first time Tommy had considered that notion. Things like loneliness and fear and happiness seemed foreign and strange to him...like they weren't for him. He stood by the doorway and looked down for a while, noticing the tip of his shoe, the black and white Converse. Tommy followed the sneaker up his leg, to his hip and bits of white revealed under his button down which was short on the hem as he leaned back, resting his weight on his hands. He saw that Neil was watching him and he seemed to stretch and move to further entice. 

He shouldn't be doing this.

"I'm not."

"You might be if you just brought a total stranger to your room."

"Maybe I'm just horny."

Neil laughed, dimples displaying, teeth white and straight. Tommy just stood there. It was a moment before Neil stood up, hooking his thumbs on the belt loops of his jeans.

"So how do you wanna do this?"

"I don't have any money."

"I wouldn't have come with you if money was the issue. Besides, you're cute...and someone if you're one of those fighter guys. Maybe when you make it big, I can have the honor of saying, hey I slept with that guy!" 

Neil began to approach him and Tommy felt himself getting nervous. Pop would kill him if he found out...his career would be focused on the one thing now rather then his fighting, focused on him being a fag. He swallowed hard and stopped him as he said,

"I shouldn't. I'm in training."

"So it's true that they don't let fighters fuck anyone before a big match huh? I thought that was all bullshit."

"No, it's true. It's better if you're frustrated and tense."

It was nothing but sheer force of will that he bit back the moan that nearly escaped his mouth when Neil touched him. He could feel the heat of his fingers through his cotton shirt as he watched him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm curious. I've never been with a guy that looks like you."

"What?"

He didn't get an answer, just the heat of Neil's palm against his chest.

"I wouldn't mind...having you suck me off."

"I don't..."

"Too much man to suck dick?"

He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing as Neil saw his nerves. He seem to delight in them as his eyes flickered, dimples appearing again as his teeth peered out behind the cupid bow mouth.

"You're nervous."

"I'm on foreign ground."

"Never been with a guy?"

"No."

"Ah. That explains everything. But you wanted me to come here."

He swallowed hard again. He didn't like feeling cornered. He didn't like feeling dominated, especially by some scrawny little kid.

"Back off."

His voice was deep and the words were grounded out. Neil felt the danger behind them and immediately backed away, looking scared for a moment. For a moment, Tommy thought he saw his hands shaking. He hid it well if it actually happened and the fear was immediately replaced with annoyance. He slid his thumbs into his empty belt loops as he jutted his hip to the side.

"If you don't want me here, then I'm going home. Move."

Tommy didn't move. He was all consuming in size, unmovable and Neil felt fear crawl through his skin like a roach under a sheet. 

"I don't want you to go."

His voice was back to normal and he stepped aside to show Neil he wasn't going to hurt him rather then say it. 

The warmth of Neil's skin under his fingertips made him feel at ease. He was soft, softer then he looked and as he laid beside him, Tommy found himself edging towards sleep. They were both dressed still, minus shoes, Tommy on his back, knee drawn up, Neil beside him, his arm resting across his chest, his massive arm around his slender hips, fingers rubbing at the strip of skin revealed by the short hem. He felt the weight of Neil's head on his chest, watching it rise up and down every time he took a breath. Neil's hair stunk like it hadn't been washed and bar smoke but he still couldn't bring himself to care. He tilted his head towards him, an embrace that felt almost intimate. 

He was comfortable and half asleep when he felt a brush against his mouth. He thought it was Neil's hair but there was a bit more pressure against his lips, the tickle of his fingers walking over his chest. He woke up then, feeling Neil right up against him and he had to push him back. For a moment, he thought of kicking him out, of scaring him into learning not to do that with men who were bigger then him, of shouting at him. But when he looked into his dark eyes, his cupid bow lips that enticed as he licked them, his chest rising and falling rapidly, he couldn't resist...it had been too long.

He pulled open his jeans and tugged them down, watching his narrow hips being exposed, a line of dark hair trailing from under his navel, down into the white briefs. Neil worked on the buttons of his shirt, pulling it open as he started to shrug it off, lifting his hips up to allow Tommy to take his jeans off. He couldn't help but splay his fingers across his stomach, lean and strong, the rounded bones of his hips fitting perfectly in his hands, small and soft and he let them travel lower, pulling his jeans off and shoving them to the side of the bed, his hands going down his thighs and then back up as Neil fell back, his shirt open as he looked smugly at him. Tommy glared at him as if asking "what?" and Neil continued smiling, his eyes narrow now, dimples on both sides of his face.

"I knew you'd give in."

"Shut up."

"There's condoms in my jeans."

It was funny how until then, it hadn't even occurred to Tommy to think of that. He pulled the denim back over, digging them out from his back pocket and it suddenly seemed all too real. He swallowed hard as he looked at the condom in his hand, then back at Neil and he remembered what he was about to do. He dropped it down on his stomach as he pushed himself away and sat on the bed.

"I can't do this. I don't want to."

He felt Neil getting up, the rustle of jeans being yanked back on as Neil walked around and shoved his feet back in his shoes. Tommy didn't even look up at him as he heard him leave, not even slamming the door behind him.

=====

The fight with St. John was full of rage. Tommy had his built up tension from the previous night, the anger of hearing St. John call him washed-up. The fight lasted four rounds, St. John standing on shaky legs by the third round, his nose already busted up, his ear swelling from the last hit. Tommy was not perfect himself, his cheek bruising and he was pretty sure his shoulder was going to be wrecked by tonight. By the middle of the fourth round, St. John went down and the crowd roared. The ref came in, followed by Paddy and reporters as Tommy glanced through the crowd to see Tess' gold hair, Brendan beside her, both of them waving and shouting. He felt his father at his side and he hadn't even realized he was clutching at his shoulder until he heard,

"Tommy? Your shoulder okay?"

Tommy nodded, letting go of it immediately as he was announced the winner. 

In the locker room, he had his shoulder iced, his bruises checked and was told he was all right. As he sat there, he heard,

"We'll stay one more night. There's a conference tomorrow to announce your entering the championship."

"Pop..."

"I know, Tommy. I'll take care of it."

He was pretending to sleep, a fresh ice pack on his shoulder as he heard a knock at the door. He thought it was pop and he got up, feeling fresh ache through his legs and arms as he stumbled to the door. He opened it to see Neil there, wearing blue jeans and a white fitted shirt, his Converse still on his feet. He grinned at him smugly again, that one enticing dimple showing up.

"Congratulations."

"On?"

"Your win. I saw you fight tonight."

"How?"

"When I left last night I saw your name on the billing at Madison Square Garden. Of course, I didn't know Tommy Conlon was the same Tommy I met last night but I took a guess, bought a scalped ticket and got in."

Tommy stepped aside and let him in, not wanting pop to catch him out there with the kid.

"Your shoulder okay?"

"Old injury. It acts up from time to time."

Neil sat on his messy bed as he crossed his ankles over each other as he looked up at him.

"So...fight's over."

"I didn't think I'd see you again."

"I wasn't going to come back. But...I figured why not?"

Tommy held the ice pack against his bare shoulder...he remembered then he wasn't wearing a shirt, his bottoms being a pair of drawstrings. Neil watched him as he then uncrossed his ankles as he leaned down to undo his shoes, toeing them off immediately and then stood up as he pulled off his shirt, throwing it on the floor. He paused once to dig through his pockets and find a condom, tossing it on the nightstand as he then looked at Tommy.

"So you gonna say something or find some other excuse for me to leave?"

Tommy decided to take control of this. There was no way some scrawny kid was going to take a hold of him.

He clapped his hand over Neil's mouth when he heard him moaning loudly. Neil looked at him as he purposely sank his nails into his shoulder making him let go.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!"

Neil gasped as he hit him again.

"You were suffocating me you fucking asshole!"

"Sorry...you were being loud."

"You felt good."

The confession made Tommy want to keep moving. They had gotten here so fast, their clothes coming off, Neil blowing him before sliding the condom on him and using lotion as lube. He had almost immediately forgotten about the fact that Neil was male, especially when he slid inside him and felt that heat, that clench that he had long gone without. When he moved his hips, he heard Neil make these weak, soft little noises that just encouraged him to do more. 

Fuck...it had been too long and Neil felt so good.

"Sorry."

"Keep going..."

So Tommy did, urging more of those noises out of him, feeling Neil bury his face against his neck to keep himself quiet, the bed faintly creaking as the one lamp in the room kept a glow. They hardly kissed, just lips brushing softly against each others, Neil watching him, watching the torrent of thoughts that crossed over his face, shining in his eyes as he kept fucking him as hard as he could. He hated Neil for seducing him into this, for putting the thought in his head, for making him want him. He should have known better then to involve himself with this kid, this smug looking boy that sold himself to anyone with enough money...except to Tommy. 

He had been offered instead of sold.

He moved harder, pushing himself in deeper, Neil gasping at the sudden force, his smug look fading as he held Tommy's massive arms harder.

"Easy..."

"Can't take it?"

Neil looked unease but turned away, defying him and not saying a word on it as he let Tommy keep going, grimacing and biting his lip. Tommy leaned down, biting his exposed neck, hearing him gasp as he tried turning back, nestling against Tommy by accident. It was strangely intimate and he hit his shoulder, pushing him back. Suddenly he reared up as he grit his teeth at him.

"Quit fucking hitting me you little shit! I had to put up with it all night, I don't need it now!"

"You're smothering me!"

"You're not worth fucking with all this Goddamn aggravation you're giving me!"

"Then finish and get off me you fucking animal!"

Tommy tried, but his train of thought had been broken and he was angry now, especially when he realized he wouldn't even be able to finish. He growled as he got off him, nearly yanking off the condom and throwing it away, grabbing his pants from the floor as he pulled them back on. As he did, he realized his shoulder was starting to hurt which just irritated him further.

"Get the hell out of my room."

He heard Neil getting up, getting his clothes on again. As he dressed, Tommy warned him.

"I'm not going to be here tomorrow."

Neil stopped for just a moment and then continued getting dressed.

"Fine. Then I won't have to waste anymore time on you."

"You shouldn't have wasted any to begin with."

He held his shoes in his hands as he glared at Tommy.

"Fuck you!"

He turned and stormed out, not even bothering to put them on as he ran out the door, leaving it gaping open as he ran down the hall.

Tommy stood up and closed the door behind him and then turned, going back to bed. He shut off the light as he laid down, turning over and smelling his pillow, still warm and smelling like Neil's hair which had been clean. 

Tommy pretended to sleep that night.

===

That morning, he watched the sun come up and his body ached and his mind reeled with thoughts of Neil. He had half hoped he would have come back, but he didn't and he had to stop thinking about him eventually but by then, the sun had come up. 

He got about an hour of sleep before he heard Paddy knocking on his door. He plowed through getting ready, brushing his teeth and then showering, washing Neil's scent off him. He then packed and left the room. He trudged downstairs, checking out and walking out to the awaiting cab. He was able to space out and drink his cup of coffee with pop and didn't focus until he was being lead to the table where the press conference was being held. He couldn't even focus and he was glad pop was taking care of everything, answering everything for him because his mind couldn't even concentrate on a simple task let alone answer questions about his career. On their drive to the airport, Tommy kept glancing out the window, watching the city go by and though he would never admit it out loud, he kept wondering if he would see Neil.

"You did good today Tommy."

His father's raspy, aged voice cut through his thoughts as he turned from the cab window and looked at him.

"Thanks pop."

He returned back to the window, bringing his bruised knuckles to his mouth, pushing his bottom lip between his teeth. He couldn't bare to ask if they would ever be back in New York and even if they did, it's not like Neil would give a shit. 

Goddamnit. He should have never brought that kid back to his hotel room.


	2. Chapter 2

It was four months later and Tommy felt his absolute best and his absolute worse. 

He was in his best physical shape; he had followed pop's advice to the letter and he followed his diet and work out schedule religiously. He had quit his job and worked out, ate and slept nearly every day. On days off, he would sleep as if he had not slept in years and wake up to call Brendan and talk to the girls. Now and then, he would go for a visit to have dinner with them and pick up the girls and swing them around to hear their delighted shrieks while Tess looked on with a worried look. When he ready to leave, the girls would cling to his legs and beg him not to go. 

He would have coffee with his father and they would talk about the matches, some times, they watched TV and saw the fights of old opponents. Once they caught his press conference when he had just come off his half assed attempt with Neil and the memory of that night flooded back. He remembered everything that had gone wrong though it started off so good...

Which brought him to his absolute worse.

He remembered his face now and then. In the middle of the night, he would wake up and feel confused and then he would think of Neil. He was furious with himself for letting some scrawny kid get under his skin like that, especially for the two times they interacted. 

He also knew the kid turned tricks. It was obvious and evident in his language, in his actions and his lack of fear of going to some stranger's hotel room.

Any time he thought of him, he would chastise himself, furious he was still on his mind so he would go for a run as if trying to chase him out of his thoughts.

=====

It brought him to five days before his fight. It was going to be held in Las Vegas and he had to fly out two days before hand to get some last minute training and do one more press conference before the actual fight. Pop was already ready and he told Tommy to get as much rest as he could before they left. Tommy said he would and when he hung up, he left his apartment and took a train into New York instead. 

It took nine hours and he was glad he had left around noon so when he arrived, it was closer to nine that evening. He had no idea where to start and despite the hour, it was still as busy and bustling and the only thing Tommy recognized off the bat was the hotel across the street from Madison Square Garden. He didn't know why he was in New York again. He didn't know why he had gotten on the train and taken a pointless trip.

But then he had finally admitted it to himself and then he didn't even know why he wanted to see Neil. He knew nothing about the kid, not even his last name and just that his apartment was in a vague general direction of "further up." So he went to the only place he knew Neil went to and sat down at the counter and ordered a cup of coffee.

The last time he had been there, it was just the start of spring, now it was early September and the weather was still mild. At night, Tommy had slung on his hoodie, still wore jeans and a plain gray shirt underneath. While he sat in the coffee shop, he took off the pull over and set it on the stool beside him in a rumpled pile beside him. He drank his coffee slowly, glanced out the window, watched the night shift people come in, read an old, discarded paper and waited. He told himself that spending the day night here would get it through his head that he would never see Neil again.

He watched the shift in staff change, went to the bathroom and waited.

And waited.

Around one in the morning, the waitress who gave him yet another refill, looked at him strangely.

"You waiting for someone?"

Tommy looked at her as he took his cup and then looked away, ignoring her question.

He waited.

He yawned and checked his watch and finished his cup. He laid off the coffee for about an hour and went to the bathroom again. He listened to the two or three other patrons behind him. 

By three, he was convinced and he got up, paying for his coffee and shuffled out. He knew he could check into a hotel for some sleep since he couldn't exactly wait in Penn Station for the next train out...whenever that would be. As he stepped out into the biting cold, the kind of cold that only happened in the fall, in the middle of the night, he pulled his hands into his sweatshirt sleeves and then tucked them into a pocket as he walked towards the hotel he stayed in before across the street from Penn Station. He yawned, shaking off the cold and as he walked into the lobby shivering as he approached the desk. He asked for a room, giving his name and digging out his wallet for a credit card and asked for a wake up call. As the desk clerk handed him the room key, he said,

"Oh, Mr. Conlon, this was left for you from your last visit."

Tommy was confused. Had he forgotten something and they were kind enough to hold it? He thought about it until he was handed a plain envelope, sealed shut, marked with the hotel's name in the corner, Tommy's name scrawled on the front. He thanked the desk clerk and walked to his room, keeping the envelope in his hand, not looking at it the entire time until he was safely alone in his room. He sat on the bed and tapped the envelope, feeling whatever was inside, sliding to one end as he tore open the opposite end. He turned it back over and in his hand fell a simple note, torn off from hotel stationary.

'you're a special kind of asshole and I guess I'm kind of stupid considering what you just said to me. But if you get this, call me if you want some company. - Neil'

His number was neatly written under the two sentences and Tommy's exhausted, foggy mind tried focusing on the thing he needed to do; which was sleep and then go home before Pop found out he skipped town. But instead, he picked up his hotel phone and dialed the number. It rang and he expected it to keep ringing or go to voice mail but much to his surprise, it picked up.

"Hello?"

Hearing his voice made Tommy feel more awake.

"It's Tommy."

His voice was deep from lack of sleep and all the coffee he had consumed. He hadn't heard anything on Neil's side and he wondered if he woke him.

"Oh..."

"I got your note."

"I didn't think you would ever...nevermind."

"I'm in the city...just for tonight."

It was quiet for a moment, neither one of them speaking and Tommy swallowed hard.

"Are you coming or not?"

"Yeah...I'm coming. What room are you in?"

Tommy told him and then hung up.

=====

He fell asleep and didn't even realize it. It was when he snapped awake at the sound of a knocking door that he saw he had fallen asleep. He stumbled out of bed, still wearing his sneakers and his hoodie as he opened the door and saw Neil. The kid was wearing a thin, weak little coat, his face red from the cold and he was shivering.

Tommy told himself it was from the cold.

He pulled him inside and once he shut the door, he started to kiss him. His mouth was cold, lips chapped, even the wetness of his tongue was slightly cooler then his own. His hands slid along his slender waist, Neil's fingers hanging onto his hoodie as he then broke away, gasping for air.

"What is it about you? I couldn't shake you..." 

Tommy felt some relief at hearing Neil say it and now he felt he didn't have to. 

"I almost didn't call."

"I wish you hadn't."

But Neil kept kissing him, still holding onto him as Tommy pulled him away from the door.

He tugged off his sweatshirt, Neil helping him, sighing to himself as he felt his strength under his plain tee. Tommy helped him out of his coat, feeling he had gotten thinner, bone under his fingertips, sinewy as his body turned under his palms. There was so much Tommy wanted to ask him, wanted to know but he stayed quiet, kissing at his mouth, feeling relief again.

"Don't hit me this time."

Neil smiled a little, lifting and taking off his own shirt, letting Tommy touch his bare skin, still cold from the outside.

"Don't crush me this time."

Tommy couldn't help but laugh a little.

"I can't make any promises."

"Then I can't promise I won't hit you again."

It was almost a replay of before, the removal of clothes, the condom, the lube and soon, Tommy was inside him again. To avoid the problems of before, Neil was on top this time and he seem to enjoy it more this time around. He moved Tommy's hands up and down his body, loving the feel of their strength, of their size and one of his palms seem to cover such large planes of his torso. He wasn't at all put off by his callouses, by their roughness and Tommy near lost it when Neil brought one of his fingers to his mouth, watching his cupid bow mouth seal around his digit, feeling the soft, wetness of his tongue under the pad of his finger.

"Fuck..."

Neil kept going, moaning around his finger as he rocked on his lap, watching Tommy, watching him enjoy every movement. It was so much better then the first time, Neil not feeling trapped or smothered by his size. His hands were hot against his skin and they held on not too roughly but not as if Neil was made of glass either. God...he feels so full, so thick inside him and Neil can't ever remember experiencing such pleasure. 

This was trouble. This was the kind of thing that sparked all of Neil's troubles, that lead him down a path of older men and turning tricks. This was the kind of thing that made him addicted to sex like the first time around. Of course, since that time...Neil had been scared, then hesitant and then he didn't do anything or seek anyone out for a long time. It was as if all his flare for sex had been dampened if not shut off all together. Until he saw Tommy...until he realized he was fucking with a championship MMA fighter who could do a lot more to him the bust his face up. Tommy wasn't kind or warm but he seem to be desperate for some kind of companionship, some kind of human touch and Neil happen to offer it. He was glad Tommy called though he knew he would regret it, he knew that this would never be enough to tide him over once he left. He hated Tommy for it. He hated himself for wanting it. 

Tommy sat up then, his arms large and hot around Neil's more slender frame and Neil wanted to turn his face, hating how close this felt, how....right. He did turn as Tommy pressed his mouth to Neil's cheek, missing his mouth when he suddenly turned and he chased his lips, kissing every bit of skin until he finally caught him. He lapped at the seam of his mouth, feeling Neil open up and let him in, his mouth warm now, tongue responding eagerly and God it felt good. Neil was probably the best feeling he had in a long time.

Tommy heard him whine, his fingernails biting into his skin as Neil tried to warn him.

"I'm...I'm gonna...I'm gonna come..."

That spurred Tommy on, forcing him to bounce harder, his hand now grabbing his ass, squeezing his cheek, ragged, torn breath near his ear as he panted against him, pushing him closer to his orgasm, encouraging him as Neil hung on and gasped as if taken by surprise as he came. Tommy was not too far behind him, crushing Neil into him as he held him close. They were still for a while, breathing frantically until they evened out, Tommy licking his lips as he relaxed his grip, letting Neil move back slightly.

Neil got up and off him and headed to the bathroom as Tommy took off the condom, tying it off and throwing it away. He was dying to get some sleep now, three hours shy from his wake up call, exhaustion weighing on him so heavily. He doesn't lay on the bed, he remains upright and naked, his mind foggy. He heard the water running in the next room and he wasn't sure when it shut off or when Neil even appeared again, sitting beside him.

"You look like shit. When was the last time you slept?"

He felt his hand smoothing his hair back and it felt good.

"Four months ago."

Neil looked a little surprised, blinking a few times before he said oh and moved his hand back. 

"I'm exhausted."

"Ok."

Neil got up and began picking up his clothes and it took Tommy a moment to realize what he had implied.

"You can stay. It's late."

"Wouldn't be the first time I got home so late."

"I want you to stay."

Neil looked at him for a moment before dropping his clothing back on the floor and getting into the bed.

"Why didn't you just say so?"

Tommy yawned, lying back with him, feeling Neil press up against him though not clinging to him, just sliding his hand over his arm and holding onto him, pressing his head to his shoulder. Tommy turned his head, looking at him as he felt calm.

"I have to leave for Vegas in a couple of hours."

"I know. Your championship fight."

"Yeah."

It was quiet. There was a lot they wanted to say to each other but didn't feel it was right to just yet. Tommy felt tired but still was kept awake with the thought that Neil would leave the minute he closed his eyes. 

"Will you watch it?"

Neil smiled, hearing the sleep heavy in his voice.

"Yeah...I'll watch it."

=======

Neil was focused on the TV, listening to the commentary, trying to drown out his friends in the background. They were being loud and there was so much going on and all Neil wanted to do was watch the fight. He turned and looked over his shoulder, angry now, the fight about to start as he shouted,

"Will you guys shut the fuck up!? I'm trying to hear this!"

One of his friends scoffed as Wendy joined him at the coffee table that he was planted behind, watching the TV intently. 

"Didn't think you would be so into this."

"It's his fight."

It was all he had to say before she got quiet, the rest of their friends soon pooling into the living room, piling on the couch as the fighters were soon introduced, Neil biting back a smile as he watched Tommy entering, his father behind him as the crowd stood on their feet and cheered. 

The fight started and Neil found himself slamming his hands on the table, screaming at the screen to watch his back, to get out of submission holds, for making stupid mistakes. He would scoff and sigh in annoyance, knowing Tommy could do better then that. His friends watched just as intently, making their own comments after each round and by the third round, Tommy's eye was nearly swollen shut but other then that, he was fine. The round started and Tommy was fast, grabbing the guy by the waist and throwing him overhead, the crook of his arm catching him by the neck and once on the mat, Tommy's legs clenched around his opponent's waist, making it impossible for him to move or turn over, Tommy's weight stilling him. The opponent flailed for a moment, then brought up his hands to Tommy's forearms, straining to get out of the hold, everyone screaming and all Neil could do was watch Tommy's face, seeing the concentration there. Suddenly, it was all over, the ref pulling Tommy off, the opponent knocked out. The roar that followed as Tommy got up and was announced the winner was deafening, even on Neil's side with his friends, Wendy shrieking as she shook him, excited.

It was over. Tommy won.

======

A little after one in the morning, Neil heard his cell phone. Wendy was in the kitchen talking with her boyfriend when Neil heard his phone and immediately picked it up. 

"Hello?"

"Did you see?"

Neil left the living room and locked himself in the bathroom, allowing himself to smile.

"I did. You won. How's the eye?"

"Swollen."

"You should have seen the swing coming."

"I know. It was a stupid mistake."

"So..."

"So."

It was quiet and Neil could hear him struggling with whatever he wanted to say. He took the initiative.

"So, baby, when's the next time you'll be in the city?"

He swore he heard Tommy laugh on the other end.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big up's to [rogerthatcommander](http://rogerthatcommander.tumblr.com) for doing the beta work on this!

“I don’t want you to fucking save me, Riordan!”

  
Tommy looked down at the pieces of the check that had been torn apart and thrown all over the room.

  
He had been seeing Neil on and off throughout the year and it had not been easy in any sense of the word.

  
When Neil was sweet he was sweet, and it brought something out of Tommy he had never experienced before. The phone calls were the best part - hearing Neil’s sweet, soft, raspy voice on the other end, telling him about his day, what he did, the little conversations he had with his roommate, how he thought about Tommy, and if he saw the fight on TV when Tommy had one.  
Neil would tell him what he thought of his fight, tell him how he had fucked up and how it could have been avoided, and Tommy would laugh - as if Neil could really tell him how to fight. But he knew it was meant in jest and humor, and that Neil would say it just to tease him.

  
Then Neil would tell him that he missed him, that he couldn’t wait to see him again, and gradually it would dissolve into phone sex that left the both of them jerking off to completion, though left unsatisfied.

  
But when he would see Neil…those reunions were the sweetest.

  
It was long, lost hours of kissing and getting to know each other all over again.

  
Neil had brought Tommy into whole new territory, making him comfortable with what he liked, getting him to like new things while exploring himself and Neil. It seemed that each time Tommy was away, Neil had to refresh him again and again.  
When Neil was angry, it was the worst thing that Tommy ever had to encounter.

  
Neil would never be described as soft. He was damaged and dark and ruined in some places that he refused to let Tommy see. Tommy couldn’t judge or expect anything since he carried his own emotional baggage, but when Neil shut him out it was a lot more than he was used to.

  
When they fought it was ugly, and Neil would run from him after a screaming match. There was a lot of anger when they fought, things spiraled out of control quickly and there were a lot of cruel words flung back and forth. If the argument started on the phone, Tommy would often slam the phone on the cradle, or just hang up if he was on his cell phone, and ignore Neil’s returning phone calls. Once, as they started making out, Tommy made the mistake of taking Neil by the wrist and pinning it to the bed. He didn’t realize Neil would react so badly and he watched as Neil shoved him off in panic, screaming not grab him like that with fear in his eyes that Tommy never understood, but he could only guess as to why it was there.

  
Tommy knew or guessed that Neil was turning tricks and he hated it, but he could never get him to admit it; at least not in so many words.

  
There were “friends” he saw, people that owed him money but he could never explain as to why or how it was owed.

  
After a year of this dance between them, Tommy thought he could help him. He wanted to offer him some money to help him along, to subtly tell him to stop what he was doing, and to let him know Neil could depend on  _him_  instead.

  
It did not go well.

  
Neil looked at the check after Tommy handed it to him and he started shouting; saying he didn’t need Tommy’s charity, that he didn’t want his help, he didn’t want to be saved. He tore the check apart into a dozen pieces and flung it in the air, glaring at Tommy.

  
“I don’t want your fucking money! I don’t need your pity ok? I thought we were above this! I’m not your whore!”

  
“No, just everyone else’s.”

  
Tommy had stood there in Neil’s apartment, alone and watched him rant and rave and tear up his gift. Tommy had been looking forward to seeing Neil since their last phone call had gone so well. He was exhausted and hot from training and had gone straight to see him only to be faced with that reaction.

  
Neil glared at him for a second longer before he shouted,

  
“Get out! Get the fuck out of my place!”

  
“Fine.”

  
Tommy turned and picked up his bag that he had left near Neil’s door and walked out without another word.

  
Tommy went back to his hotel room. He had been set up at the Four Seasons for his latest fight and had skipped promotions and interviews to go see Neil.

  
Not that he would have gone anyway.

  
He dropped his bag and went to take a shower and possibly get some sleep. He was tired from his trip, from the training, and now from Neil. He stepped in the bathroom and went right to the shower, pulling open the clear glass door and turned on the shower spray as he undressed, then stepped in.

  
As he ran his hands through his hair, soaking it through, he thought of Neil. He was so tired of him, of his bullshit and his drama. He wanted Neil to let him help, to let Tommy take care of him, to let him do anything and not be met with a fight every step of the way. But the kid was under his skin and he couldn’t pull away as easily as he wanted.

  
He showered and then changed into clean underwear before getting into bed for a restless night.

  
Throughout the night, he watched his phone light up periodically and he knew it was Neil. The phone itself was on silent but Tommy couldn’t sleep anyway and he watched as every other hour the screen lit up and stayed lit until it shut off when the call went to voicemail.

  
Tommy got about three hours of sleep before getting up at five and getting some breakfast before he went to train for the day. As he walked to the elevator, he held his phone in his hand and began to clear the missed calls, he saw he had a few texts as well.

  
That was new.

  
In their fights Neil had always called and called but never left voicemails, never left any texts, and usually that was enough for Tommy to know Neil was trying. But the texts where new and Tommy hesitated in looking at them, his thumb hovering over the icon of the little envelope before he finally pressed it and watched as three different texts showed up.

‘ _…I don’t know what to say…’_

_‘You’re not making this easy.’_

_‘Come on, don’t make me beg. Pick up your phone._ ’

  
Tommy sighed, walking into the elevator and leaning against the walls as he pressed the button for the lobby, and tried to form the words. He knew he had made a mistake with how Neil reacted - then again, he always made mistakes when it came to Neil. He swallowed hard as he finally wrote up a text.

  
‘ _I’m at the 4 Seasons_.’

  
He didn’t hit send, though.

  
===

Tommy trained all morning, and at lunch he ate then got back to work. He was focused on training and he had a fight that night, anyway.

  
In the back arena, hearing the crowd roaring in the distance, he watched Frank wrap his hand. He glared at nothing until Frank said,

  
“Hey, where’s your head?”

  
“On the fight.”

  
“You don’t seem like it.”

  
“I trained all day, Frank, leave me the fuck alone.”

  
Frank pulled his hand away and sighed at him as he stood up, getting out of Tommy's way.

The fight was a blur. It started faster than he realized and he seemed to move on auto pilot, ducking swings and kicks. Then suddenly, he moved too slow and caught a blow right at his mouth, instantly breaking his lip like overly ripe fruit as he felt the skin rip against his mouth guard.

  
He fell and felt dazed, his eyes focusing on the mat and his hands, he shook his head before he felt his opponent on him instantly. He heard Frank screaming at him, the crowd on its feet and he was back in the fight as he felt the choke around his throat, now on his back staring up at bright arena lights. He took a deep breath, staying relaxed as he brought his hands to his opponent’s arms, his eyes closing for a moment before he slowly turned and snuck out of the hold, hearing the roar double.  
He was dizzy and he knew he had to finish the fight fast so as soon as he was able to, he swung as hard as he could, laying out the opponent. The crowd cheered, the referee came over to him, taking his wrist and lifting it in the air, declaring him the winner. The moment the referee dropped his hand, he left the ring and walked past the roar that was becoming deafening in his ears, Frank hot on his heels.

  
He was in a daze as the medical examiner checked him, his mouth sore as he felt the tenderness from his upper lip being split open. He was left alone then, an ice pack under his neck as he rested in the back room, his hands on his stomach, the tape left on them, his body sore and tired. He didn’t get up until Frank gave him the okay to leave, and as he sat in the cab, his hood over his head, his mouth already swelling and the side of his face already bruising, he opened his drafts as he took his phone out and sent his message to Neil.

  
He waited in his room with the TV on, an ice pack against his face, and as he nodded in and out of sleep his phone rang. He answered, resting the phone against the unbruised side of his face as he said,

  
“Yeah.”

  
“It’s me. I’m here.”

  
“‘M in 485.”

  
“Okay. I’ll be there in a minute.”

  
They hung up, and after a handful of minutes there was a knock on the door. Tommy got up and answered, seeing Neil on the other side.

  
He wore his skinny jeans and a thin white shirt, his hair a little shorter, cleaner than before, and damp at the curling ends. When Neil looked up at him he seemed a little upset, and he stepped in as Tommy stepped aside and let him in.  
No sooner than Tommy closed the door, he heard Neil say,

  
“What happened?”

  
“I got punched in the fuckin’ face. What’s it look like?”

  
He turned to face Neil as he saw him crossing his arms as he said,

  
“Smart ass. I mean in the fight. I saw you catch it right on the jaw.”

  
“You watched?”

  
“Yeah I watched. Just because you’re an asshole doesn’t mean I won’t watch you fight so I can tell you how you fucked up.”  
Tommy sighed, shaking his head as he walked past him and headed to the bed, sitting down with the ice pack against his face. Neil joined him, made him pull back the ice and looked at him, his hand soft against the bruise.

  
“You really hurt me.”

  
Tommy looked up at him but didn’t move, both hands now holding onto the ice pack rather than Neil.

  
“Yeah…well you weren’t easy on me either.”

  
“You didn’t deserve it. Why with the money? You never gave it before. Never offered. I never asked.”

  
“I didn’t want you to ask. And I know you need it.”

  
“Why would you think I need it?”

  
“Stop fuckin’ around. You think I’m that stupid? Like I can’t figure out what you do when I’m not around?”

  
Neil stopped and moved his hands back as he stood in front of him, looking away. Tommy could see the color pooling in his face.

  
“I don’t do it a lot…and I haven’t so much since…since you. I don’t fuck anyone else…”

“But you’re still with someone else. A bunch of someone else’s.”

  
“Not a lot…”

  
It was the first time he saw something like humility in Neil but he kept his ground and stood up.

  
“It’s been a year now Neil. I still don’t know much about you, I just know that I have feelings for you but you make it really hard to keep caring for you.”

  
Neil looked back at him and Tommy saw the little boy he probably was once as he toyed with his fingers.

  
“You care about me?”

  
“I do. That’s what the money was for. It was so you could use it to pay whatever you needed so you didn’t have to keep doing that…I didn’t mean to insult you.”

  
Neil tightened his mouth and looked away again, the color still in his face as he swallowed hard and still toyed with his fingers.

  
“I’m sorry.”

  
Tommy stood up and took his hand to make him stop, his own hand now cold from the compress, as he leaned close to him and kissed his cheek since Neil was turned away from him. Neil looked back at him as he looked a little stunned.

  
“This has got to stop. You can’t keep makin’ my head spin, you know? I can’t afford to have my clock cleaned like I did tonight.”  
Neil laughed a little and looked down, shaking his head as he said,

  
“Okay. I’ll try…I just…I’m scared. I’ve never had anyone…like you.”

  
“Me either. So we’ll figure it out together. But this…you seeing other people…it stops.”

  
Neil nodded and when Tommy saw him not looking into his eyes, he reached up to his chin, tipping his head up as he said,

  
“Hey…”

  
Neil nodded again, a slight frown on his face as he said,

  
“Okay.”

  
Tommy leaned forward, kissing him softly as Neil did his best to kiss back carefully, minding his broken lip. When he moved back, Tommy was looking directly at him, his eyes steady and hard as he said,

  
“You okay?”

  
Neil nodded as he looked back down at his hands, and for the first time he seemed lost. Tommy kept his hold on his hand as he didn’t say anything else and let Neil gradually work back into himself, and for the first time Tommy felt as if he got a little peek of him, of the real Neil that he only got hints of before. And that seemed worth getting his lip busted open.


End file.
